Archive for the 'WTF Mate?' Category

Monae love

This is less something “current” or “cutting edge” in terms of release timing than it is “current” and “cutting edge” in terms of the fact that you have never, ever heard anything quite on this level before. Around the midpoint of 2007, self-released with little fanfare, a quiet storm dropped on the city of Atlanta in the form of a time-traveling futuretro funk-rock goddess calling herself Janelle Monae and her debut E.P. Metropolis.

She would then proceed to tear shit up.

Metropolis took a little time to grow on the city, and it’s still spreading itself thick and oozing, but one listen to the too-brief five tracks and there’s an immediate hook, evidenced so not just by the amount of critical in-city “Best Of” lists this EP (an EP! on Best-Of lists!) ended up on, not just by sold-out shows, but by the fact that her biggest fans are the duo who last changed the face of southern urban music forever: Outkast.

Big Boi’s proven himself to be more than just a fan by signing her to the now-defunct Big Purp, and Andre himself has shown her Janelle studio time. So what, pray tell, does this seeming wunderkind sound like?

In this case, a picture’s worth a thousand notes:

This IS the sound of Janelle Monae-a futuristic blend of old-school classic funk, hard-ass rock and some sort of crazed electroglam stomp that both Marc Bolan and Prince would pawn their souls, pool their money and yet still be unable to afford. Metropolis, the story thus far, involves a far-flung society and a forbidden robot/human lovestory. Metropolis, the sound, is even more impossible, and instantly catchy.

Janelle Monae: Violet Stars, Happy Hunting

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The first real “song” off of the E.P., this is an absolutely perfect example of the nutsoid, cyber-hop funplex of candy-colored terrorbliss Janelle and her band are carving out for themselves. That stuttering beat in punk/funk time, Janelle’s way of phrasing, the fact that this is both a love song and a death march…holy holy crap.

Janelle Monae: Time Will Reveal

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From outside the Metropo-verse, off of one of the Big Purp comps that y’all kids ignored because you were too busy listening to Girl Talk mash up “Kryptonite” with something dumb, probably by Nirvana. Janelle’s early venture into bringing the world into her color scheme, this is actually a hell of a lot more frantic than any of the E.P., and for good reason-she’s singing like her life depends on it here, and who knows-maybe, by the time the full Metropolis suite reveals itself, it will.

Janelle Monae’s official site, with photos, a store to purchase the music, etc.  





Babies…cry…because…a…hurricane?

Ok, look, I’m not one to beat a dead internet meme, especially when it’s now evolved into Diet Chocolate Cherry Dr Pepper, but apparently Tay Zonday has other songs?

Before you just totally write this off as “tlda” (too late dumb ass), listen to his medly of “Swing low, Sweet chariot” and “Amazing Grace”. Someone put this kid in “Showboat”. Listen to “Love” and think Kate Bush’s seminal “Running Up That Hill” (aka “the only time a human being has ever used a Fairlight”).

The rest of his other stuff? Call me crazy, but if this whole “8 Bit I’mma-make-a-song-and-not-try” thing is really going to catch on this year, and since snap, crunk and hyphy have all been kinda quiet on the new-production front, Tay needs to farm this stuff out to Chris Brown and the like. Maybe he could produce the great Usher comeback record.

Also, his official t-shirt is pretty fucking nifty:


It’s a shame that, were you to wear this shirt, you’d end up getting your ass kicked nigh-instantly.

In the event you’ve no freaking clue what started this, just peep a gander at the Youtube clip that wouldn’t stop in 07:

‘Nuff said. And remember: Chocolate Rain. The schoolbooks say it can’t be here again**.

**wtf?

Note from …trixie: Tay Zonday will be playing TONIGHT in Brooklyn at Club Europa. Details are here at Brooklyn Vegan.





You can be my…wait, what the hell did he just say?

Remember this charming man?

Just when you’d assumed that he and his group, Frozen Test Icicles (or whatever it was they were called) had truly disbanded, been pummeled in the nose, or whatever it is you do when your bro steals your Maybelline, 30 Seconds to Mars returns to the radar of all of those within 150 pounds of their goal weight:

30 Seconds To Mars: Stronger (Kanye West cover)

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(<— STREAMING IS RECOMMENDED! you have NO NEED to clutter your iTunes with this steaming load of manboi lowrise pleather crap)

jbear.jpg

Where, oh where, to begin? The fact that Leto and his Coalition Of The Pretty-Yet-Ain’t-Fags-Or-Nothin’-For-Real-Brah not only straight-face their way through this, they break the “sound like blackened tilapia gossamer” record on their guitars in support of this douchetruckian effort that actually, as a straight cover propelled by sheer force of lacking invention and source considered, borders on blackface. Jared, you DON’T get to say shit like “you can be my black Kate Moss tonight”, sorry. Have you been hanging out with June D again, calling each other “bitches” and snorting crank off arbitrary asscracks, assuming, because you can name two Outkast songs (hint: one’s NOT “Hey Ya”, but one is!), blue cameltoe tights and minstrelsy are all ok?

Also, Kanye’s not your “bra”.

Jill dehumidifier: it’s a band i don’t care about covering a song i don’t care about
Jill dehumidifier
: SUCH APATHY HAVE I
shaun bateman : it’s SO BAD
shaun bateman :
it’s like
shaun bateman :
take everything you hate about music, jill
shaun bateman :
and put it into ONE SONG
shaun bateman :
the END of this
shaun bateman :is so guylineremo
Jill dehumidifier
: this is the dullest thing i have ever heard
Jill dehumidifier
:it’s like if you were a cutter
Jill dehumidifier
:but with a butter knife

shaun bateman :lol, yyes

shaun bateman :it’s as though

shaun bateman :all the boring echo filters in the world

shaun bateman : converged into one protools setting

Jill dehumidifier: it’s the “guyliner” knob

shaun bateman :phallic pun intended?

Jill dehumidifier:no, and also, yes.

Jill dehumidifier: that was totally freudian

Jill dehumidifier:OH MY GOD IS THIS SONG OVER YET

 

Not til you get to that epic-as-shit (or is it shitty epic…yeah, shitty epic) ending, where Leto goes for it. “It” isn’t defined yet, but it isn’t good.





On the DL like R Kel

All right. We at Res feel there’s absolutely nothing to apologize for in regards to the ONE item missing from the sidebar “things we agree on”. Yeah, we all love The Knife, The Arcade Fire, Kylie.

We are all also equally enamored with the saga told by auteur Robert Sylvester “R” Kelly, involving the working metaphor for society, namely his “closet”, and the interactions of those who inhabit this world.

Yeah. Trapped In The Closet.

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We at Res spent many a night, and many a morning, devouring each essentially inconsequential detail of the first 12 chapters-everything from the “trapped in the closet” two-step shuffle, to the fact that, apparently, the crooked-ass police assumes a ghost from the dead lurks, of all places, behind his fridge.

Most of our adventures exploring Trapped In The Closet Chapters 1-12 have been chronicled in the dedicated livejournal community Chuck And Rufus: The Global Closet.

Tomorrow, the majority of we Res-folk, both immediate and extended fam, who’ve been knowin’ Rufus for a couple of years now-namely myself, Bette Noire, R Jamz and Lauren Alexis-will be taking apart an advance viewing of chapters 13-22.

Right. Here.

That’s right. We’ll pour one on the ground for our homies who won’t be there-Trixie, Hacks, Dr Shlomo Zelig-but we gotta keep it movin’. The chicken in a box in a wok is heating up, and Tina and Roxanne will not wait.

Tomorrow, Sunday, August 19th. 5 P.M. EST. The Res Trapped In The Closet Liveblogstravaganza. Be there or I’ma shoot somebody. Real talk.

Oh yeah, some real real talk to hold you over:

R Kelly: Real Talk





As Seen on MySpace:

Do the D.A.N.C.E. and check out Justice’s pan-genre future-pop mash-up fun-rocket of a debut album, †, exclusively on MySpace before it hits stores July 10!

WTF.. Is pitchfork now writing music blurbs for MySpace? Seriously.. its descriptions like this that make me want to choke to death on someone else’s vomit.***






***I could be over-reacting.