Archive for the 'WTF Mate?' Category

Games For Days…(or lack thereof)**

Julian Plenti
“It Came From Brooklyn”
The Guggenheim Museum
NYC9/25/2009

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“When your band’s biggest asset is your voice”, my friend Dr Zachary (mutual acquaintance of the late Resonator field reporter Dr Shlomo Zelig, R.I.P.) said early into the first-ever full live set performed for the public by Julian Plenti, the side project band of Interpol’s Paul Banks, as a part of the Guggenheim’s lamentable “It Came From Brooklyn” series of insults to the intelligent events, “why would you spend so much time playing instrumentals?” Truer words, in the form of a critique of he Julian Plenti live set and the …Is Skyscraper album, have yet to be spoken. While on record, the Julian Plenti sound is a mostly dozing, syrupy night-time collection of weirdly sexual come-ons and call-outs, all of the songs mostly-passable but buoyed by a palm’s worth of really, really good tunes and perfect track sequencing, performed live the entire thing went to shit. Opening with what would have gone perfectly mid-set (and with what works perfectly as Is Skyscraper’s penultimate track, coming before the fittingly-titled instrumental swoon-daze “H”), the slow-burning, stalking “Fly As You Might”, and then launching immediately into another one of the record’s few truly awesome moments, “Unwind”, the live incarnation of Julian Plenti made it totally evident they were ready, willing and able to blow their load all over the Guggenheim as quickly and unabashedly as possible.Replacing the sleaze-cheese keys of the album version of “Unwind” with violin and other strings played by members of the so-bad-I-can’t-believe-I’m-mentioning-them-here opening band I’m In You (yes, that’s what they’re called; yes, calling themselves “Fucking Jazz Odyssey” would be more appropriate) made the creep-factor diminish and the “we’re playing MTV unplugged” factor skyrocket, muting the song’s recorded intensity.Two of the album’s other near-perfect gems, “Only If You Run” and “Fun That We Have” also received string swaps, to similar effect (the latter coming unfortunately early in the set).

The middle-to-end bits of the Julian Plenti live show consisted of, for lack of any better way to put this, all the slow songs from the album, one after another. Yes, “Girl On The Sporting News” is a gorgeous song. So is “On The Esplanade”. And “H”. But not when played one after another after yet another, with the patented apathy towards the crowd that Paul Banks achieves so perfectly. The entire set seemed both overly-long and a testament to the easy-to-overlook quality of sequencing with which the …Is Skyscraper albums’s songs are ordered. On record, the fluid, dark muscle of “Fun That We Have” is balanced by the yearning “No Chance Survival”. When the songs aren’t given that backup push, that ability to bleed into and feed off of one another, and rather become one long, unfortunately boring mood piece? It only serves to lessen the impact each song has individually.For all the criticism Interpol has been given about being a “boring” band, what they lack in what passes for “stage presence” these days (i.e. the sort of obnoxious rock-star thrashing about that the Julian Plenti touring band’s other guitarist, resembling a muscled-up Tobais Funke in his “daddy likes leather” stage, was distractingly guilty of) they more than make up for in working knowledge of each of their songs’ strengths and weaknesses.Julian Plenti? Not so much.

After the string of “slow jams” (i.e. almost every song on the album), we got…a cover of “Horse with No Name”, “Only If You Run”, and…a song I can’t recognize.You may notice one thing missing, and if you said “Games For Days” you’re right. They didn’t play the single, which happens to be one of the album’s best songs, a weird, twisted head-fuck of a love song only made better by the creep-tastic video.On a whole, I can understand if we’re supposed to treat this, the first open-to-the-public performance before Julian Plenti go on tour as a full band, as just that-the first show by a band.Even the Julian Plenti website refers to him as a “debut artist”.

But when the show PR material for It Came From Brooklyn proudly proclaimed “Julian Plenti-Paul Banks from Interpol”, are we really supposed to separate one from the other and appreciate this fatally flawed show, this grouping of passable-to-great songs ordered in a way as to diminish all returns, as anything other than a misstep by the frontman of one of our time’s best cult bands? If you’re going to give us a cover and an unreleased song and skip over the single all together, do we not then have a right to eschew the ingrained show-going politeness that comes from actualizing politeness regarding what name you’re performing under and just fucking scream for “PDA”, because you know we all wanted to?Usually, solo projects are approached, by the artist, with something to gain. Something to prove. Unless this entire “Julian Plenti” schtick is a work of musical theatre so post-modern it boggles the mind? All Paul Banks has proven is that, without Carlos D, the old guy and the other dude, his music is boring and stuff.

**alternate title: “Julian Not Quite Enough”

(photo: Kristina Weise )





DIY headline about mushrooms

Man, you know what goes great with this?

This:

DUH.

I mean, it makes perfect sense: when you’re balls-out gurning, getting fucking amped to Superstar DJ Tiesto or Paul Oakenfield or DJ A.M? too soon! whoever the kids listen to these days at the Raves, you totally want a hot, fresh, stone-baked pizza.

That’s why, when a press release with the following headline hit the RES inboxes, we collectively sighed contentedly, knowing that the world finally makes sense:

DT: SEPTEMBER 16, 2009

FR: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

SUB: INFECTED MUSHROOM TEAMS WITH SOUTHEAST PIZZA CHAIN MELLOW MUSHROOM FOR SPECIAL PROMO LAUNCHING PIZZA AND MUSIC

No, folks, Ishkur did not make this up, THAT Infected Mushroom, as in the Israeli trance band, has teamed up with a fucking southeastern pizza place.

I wish I could do anything but quote this release directly TO you, but man, I can’t write stuff this good:

On September 29, a joint campaign between the unstoppable Los Angeles electronic-rock outfit INFECTED MUSHROOM—whose new album LEGEND OF THE BLACK SHAWARMA was just released September 8 via Perfecto Records—and Mellow Mushroom, the bohemian-chic Southeastern pizza chain, will introduce a double mushroom promotion that will excite both your taste buds and your ears.

Starting on that day, Mellow Mushroom’s patrons will get a taste, as the pizzeria debuts a special “Legend of the Black Shawarma” pie topped with shawarma. Select outlets of the Southeastern chain–known for their unique pizzas and fun, energetic atmosphere–will be sending out their pies in specially stickered boxes and distributing flyers promoting the event and pointing customers to www.infected-mushroom.com/mellowmushroom, where they’ll be able to access a free download.

It’s a perfect match for both Infected Mushroom and Mellow Mushroom. According to the band’s AMIT “DUVDEV” DUVEDEVANI, the new album was originally inspired by their favorite foods; “there’s a lot of material about getting your grub on,” he added. Helping the band out on the album are other musical epicureans, including Korn’s Jonathan Davis, Jane’s Addiction’s Perry Farrell and superstar DJ and electronic musician Paul Oakenfold, who produced. And Mellow Mushroom has built a reputation for food and attitude that distinguishes them from your average pizza place.

In the words of Hacks: “I DID NOT REALIZE SUPERSTAR DJ AND ELECTRONIC MUSICIAN PAUL OAKENFOLD WAS INVOLVED!”

Yeah, uh, I’m going to go for the obvious joke here…apparently the pizza place that’s always stone baked is going to be, um, uh..
..
..
……..converting vegetarians.





Monae love

This is less something “current” or “cutting edge” in terms of release timing than it is “current” and “cutting edge” in terms of the fact that you have never, ever heard anything quite on this level before. Around the midpoint of 2007, self-released with little fanfare, a quiet storm dropped on the city of Atlanta in the form of a time-traveling futuretro funk-rock goddess calling herself Janelle Monae and her debut E.P. Metropolis.

She would then proceed to tear shit up.

Metropolis took a little time to grow on the city, and it’s still spreading itself thick and oozing, but one listen to the too-brief five tracks and there’s an immediate hook, evidenced so not just by the amount of critical in-city “Best Of” lists this EP (an EP! on Best-Of lists!) ended up on, not just by sold-out shows, but by the fact that her biggest fans are the duo who last changed the face of southern urban music forever: Outkast.

Big Boi’s proven himself to be more than just a fan by signing her to the now-defunct Big Purp, and Andre himself has shown her Janelle studio time. So what, pray tell, does this seeming wunderkind sound like?

In this case, a picture’s worth a thousand notes:

This IS the sound of Janelle Monae-a futuristic blend of old-school classic funk, hard-ass rock and some sort of crazed electroglam stomp that both Marc Bolan and Prince would pawn their souls, pool their money and yet still be unable to afford. Metropolis, the story thus far, involves a far-flung society and a forbidden robot/human lovestory. Metropolis, the sound, is even more impossible, and instantly catchy.

Janelle Monae: Violet Stars, Happy Hunting

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The first real “song” off of the E.P., this is an absolutely perfect example of the nutsoid, cyber-hop funplex of candy-colored terrorbliss Janelle and her band are carving out for themselves. That stuttering beat in punk/funk time, Janelle’s way of phrasing, the fact that this is both a love song and a death march…holy holy crap.

Janelle Monae: Time Will Reveal

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From outside the Metropo-verse, off of one of the Big Purp comps that y’all kids ignored because you were too busy listening to Girl Talk mash up “Kryptonite” with something dumb, probably by Nirvana. Janelle’s early venture into bringing the world into her color scheme, this is actually a hell of a lot more frantic than any of the E.P., and for good reason-she’s singing like her life depends on it here, and who knows-maybe, by the time the full Metropolis suite reveals itself, it will.

Janelle Monae’s official site, with photos, a store to purchase the music, etc.  





Babies…cry…because…a…hurricane?

Ok, look, I’m not one to beat a dead internet meme, especially when it’s now evolved into Diet Chocolate Cherry Dr Pepper, but apparently Tay Zonday has other songs?

Before you just totally write this off as “tlda” (too late dumb ass), listen to his medly of “Swing low, Sweet chariot” and “Amazing Grace”. Someone put this kid in “Showboat”. Listen to “Love” and think Kate Bush’s seminal “Running Up That Hill” (aka “the only time a human being has ever used a Fairlight”).

The rest of his other stuff? Call me crazy, but if this whole “8 Bit I’mma-make-a-song-and-not-try” thing is really going to catch on this year, and since snap, crunk and hyphy have all been kinda quiet on the new-production front, Tay needs to farm this stuff out to Chris Brown and the like. Maybe he could produce the great Usher comeback record.

Also, his official t-shirt is pretty fucking nifty:


It’s a shame that, were you to wear this shirt, you’d end up getting your ass kicked nigh-instantly.

In the event you’ve no freaking clue what started this, just peep a gander at the Youtube clip that wouldn’t stop in 07:

‘Nuff said. And remember: Chocolate Rain. The schoolbooks say it can’t be here again**.

**wtf?

Note from …trixie: Tay Zonday will be playing TONIGHT in Brooklyn at Club Europa. Details are here at Brooklyn Vegan.





You can be my…wait, what the hell did he just say?

Remember this charming man?

Just when you’d assumed that he and his group, Frozen Test Icicles (or whatever it was they were called) had truly disbanded, been pummeled in the nose, or whatever it is you do when your bro steals your Maybelline, 30 Seconds to Mars returns to the radar of all of those within 150 pounds of their goal weight:

30 Seconds To Mars: Stronger (Kanye West cover)

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(<— STREAMING IS RECOMMENDED! you have NO NEED to clutter your iTunes with this steaming load of manboi lowrise pleather crap)

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Where, oh where, to begin? The fact that Leto and his Coalition Of The Pretty-Yet-Ain’t-Fags-Or-Nothin’-For-Real-Brah not only straight-face their way through this, they break the “sound like blackened tilapia gossamer” record on their guitars in support of this douchetruckian effort that actually, as a straight cover propelled by sheer force of lacking invention and source considered, borders on blackface. Jared, you DON’T get to say shit like “you can be my black Kate Moss tonight”, sorry. Have you been hanging out with June D again, calling each other “bitches” and snorting crank off arbitrary asscracks, assuming, because you can name two Outkast songs (hint: one’s NOT “Hey Ya”, but one is!), blue cameltoe tights and minstrelsy are all ok?

Also, Kanye’s not your “bra”.

Jill dehumidifier: it’s a band i don’t care about covering a song i don’t care about
Jill dehumidifier
: SUCH APATHY HAVE I
shaun bateman : it’s SO BAD
shaun bateman :
it’s like
shaun bateman :
take everything you hate about music, jill
shaun bateman :
and put it into ONE SONG
shaun bateman :
the END of this
shaun bateman :is so guylineremo
Jill dehumidifier
: this is the dullest thing i have ever heard
Jill dehumidifier
:it’s like if you were a cutter
Jill dehumidifier
:but with a butter knife

shaun bateman :lol, yyes

shaun bateman :it’s as though

shaun bateman :all the boring echo filters in the world

shaun bateman : converged into one protools setting

Jill dehumidifier: it’s the “guyliner” knob

shaun bateman :phallic pun intended?

Jill dehumidifier:no, and also, yes.

Jill dehumidifier: that was totally freudian

Jill dehumidifier:OH MY GOD IS THIS SONG OVER YET

 

Not til you get to that epic-as-shit (or is it shitty epic…yeah, shitty epic) ending, where Leto goes for it. “It” isn’t defined yet, but it isn’t good.





On the DL like R Kel

All right. We at Res feel there’s absolutely nothing to apologize for in regards to the ONE item missing from the sidebar “things we agree on”. Yeah, we all love The Knife, The Arcade Fire, Kylie.

We are all also equally enamored with the saga told by auteur Robert Sylvester “R” Kelly, involving the working metaphor for society, namely his “closet”, and the interactions of those who inhabit this world.

Yeah. Trapped In The Closet.

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We at Res spent many a night, and many a morning, devouring each essentially inconsequential detail of the first 12 chapters-everything from the “trapped in the closet” two-step shuffle, to the fact that, apparently, the crooked-ass police assumes a ghost from the dead lurks, of all places, behind his fridge.

Most of our adventures exploring Trapped In The Closet Chapters 1-12 have been chronicled in the dedicated livejournal community Chuck And Rufus: The Global Closet.

Tomorrow, the majority of we Res-folk, both immediate and extended fam, who’ve been knowin’ Rufus for a couple of years now-namely myself, Bette Noire, R Jamz and Lauren Alexis-will be taking apart an advance viewing of chapters 13-22.

Right. Here.

That’s right. We’ll pour one on the ground for our homies who won’t be there-Trixie, Hacks, Dr Shlomo Zelig-but we gotta keep it movin’. The chicken in a box in a wok is heating up, and Tina and Roxanne will not wait.

Tomorrow, Sunday, August 19th. 5 P.M. EST. The Res Trapped In The Closet Liveblogstravaganza. Be there or I’ma shoot somebody. Real talk.

Oh yeah, some real real talk to hold you over:

R Kelly: Real Talk





As Seen on MySpace:

Do the D.A.N.C.E. and check out Justice’s pan-genre future-pop mash-up fun-rocket of a debut album, †, exclusively on MySpace before it hits stores July 10!

WTF.. Is pitchfork now writing music blurbs for MySpace? Seriously.. its descriptions like this that make me want to choke to death on someone else’s vomit.***






***I could be over-reacting.