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Archive for the 'get a job' Category

18
September
2007
tags: 30 Seconds To Mars, Jordan Catalano, guyliner manmo, lolz@hipsters, WTF Mate?, get a job, high school nostalgia, Kanye West.

You can be my…wait, what the hell did he just say?

Remember this charming man?

Just when you’d assumed that he and his group, Frozen Test Icicles (or whatever it was they were called) had truly disbanded, been pummeled in the nose, or whatever it is you do when your bro steals your Maybelline, 30 Seconds to Mars returns to the radar of all of those within 150 pounds of their goal weight:

30 Seconds To Mars: Stronger (Kanye West cover)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

(<— STREAMING IS RECOMMENDED! you have NO NEED to clutter your iTunes with this steaming load of manboi lowrise pleather crap)

jbear.jpg

Where, oh where, to begin? The fact that Leto and his Coalition Of The Pretty-Yet-Ain’t-Fags-Or-Nothin’-For-Real-Brah not only straight-face their way through this, they break the “sound like blackened tilapia gossamer” record on their guitars in support of this douchetruckian effort that actually, as a straight cover propelled by sheer force of lacking invention and source considered, borders on blackface. Jared, you DON’T get to say shit like “you can be my black Kate Moss tonight”, sorry. Have you been hanging out with June D again, calling each other “bitches” and snorting crank off arbitrary asscracks, assuming, because you can name two Outkast songs (hint: one’s NOT “Hey Ya”, but one is!), blue cameltoe tights and minstrelsy are all ok?

Also, Kanye’s not your “bra”.

Jill dehumidifier: it’s a band i don’t care about covering a song i don’t care about
Jill dehumidifier: SUCH APATHY HAVE I
shaun bateman : it’s SO BAD
shaun bateman : it’s like
shaun bateman : take everything you hate about music, jill
shaun bateman : and put it into ONE SONG
shaun bateman : the END of this
shaun bateman :is so guylineremo
Jill dehumidifier: this is the dullest thing i have ever heard
Jill dehumidifier:it’s like if you were a cutter
Jill dehumidifier:but with a butter knife

shaun bateman :lol, yyes

shaun bateman :it’s as though

shaun bateman :all the boring echo filters in the world

shaun bateman : converged into one protools setting

Jill dehumidifier: it’s the “guyliner” knob

shaun bateman :phallic pun intended?

Jill dehumidifier:no, and also, yes.

Jill dehumidifier: that was totally freudian

Jill dehumidifier:OH MY GOD IS THIS SONG OVER YET

 

Not til you get to that epic-as-shit (or is it shitty epic…yeah, shitty epic) ending, where Leto goes for it. “It” isn’t defined yet, but it isn’t good.

6 Comments



19
April
2007
tags: get a job, Puffy.

Put the “douchebag” back in “Diddy”

So, you’re about to graduate from your really really ’spensive college here in a couple weeks, with your B.A. in somecrap.

And you’re sitting, thinking “oh. my. god. I’ve. never. had. to. have. a. job.”

Not to worry, oh ye of little real life non-dorm experience, we at Resonator Mag are here to help.

Sean Puffy P-Diddy Diddy Combs is hiring.

Prominent busy Chairman of an entertainment giant is seeking a top-notch experienced polished Personal Assistant to coordinate the Chairman’s business, social and personal affairs. This role involves handling business and personal tasks at the Chairman’s office and multiple homes (NY, FL & GA). Serve as a personal liaison between the Chairman and his family. It is imperative that the Assistant has the sophistication to communicate effectively with people at all levels of management and handle highly confidential matters. Due to the Chairman’s extremely busy schedule, the Assistant needs to be accessible on weekends and evenings to handle ongoing activities…

My favorite bit is the “liaison between the Chairman and his family” specification. I assume this means you have to schedule when Diddy gets did.

For the entire help wanted ad, and for instructions on how to apply, check the full listing.

0 Comments





Archive for the 'get a job' Category

18
September
2007
tags: 30 Seconds To Mars, Jordan Catalano, guyliner manmo, lolz@hipsters, WTF Mate?, get a job, high school nostalgia, Kanye West.

You can be my…wait, what the hell did he just say?

Remember this charming man?

Just when you’d assumed that he and his group, Frozen Test Icicles (or whatever it was they were called) had truly disbanded, been pummeled in the nose, or whatever it is you do when your bro steals your Maybelline, 30 Seconds to Mars returns to the radar of all of those within 150 pounds of their goal weight:

30 Seconds To Mars: Stronger (Kanye West cover)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

(<— STREAMING IS RECOMMENDED! you have NO NEED to clutter your iTunes with this steaming load of manboi lowrise pleather crap)

jbear.jpg

Where, oh where, to begin? The fact that Leto and his Coalition Of The Pretty-Yet-Ain’t-Fags-Or-Nothin’-For-Real-Brah not only straight-face their way through this, they break the “sound like blackened tilapia gossamer” record on their guitars in support of this douchetruckian effort that actually, as a straight cover propelled by sheer force of lacking invention and source considered, borders on blackface. Jared, you DON’T get to say shit like “you can be my black Kate Moss tonight”, sorry. Have you been hanging out with June D again, calling each other “bitches” and snorting crank off arbitrary asscracks, assuming, because you can name two Outkast songs (hint: one’s NOT “Hey Ya”, but one is!), blue cameltoe tights and minstrelsy are all ok?

Also, Kanye’s not your “bra”.

Jill dehumidifier: it’s a band i don’t care about covering a song i don’t care about
Jill dehumidifier: SUCH APATHY HAVE I
shaun bateman : it’s SO BAD
shaun bateman : it’s like
shaun bateman : take everything you hate about music, jill
shaun bateman : and put it into ONE SONG
shaun bateman : the END of this
shaun bateman :is so guylineremo
Jill dehumidifier: this is the dullest thing i have ever heard
Jill dehumidifier:it’s like if you were a cutter
Jill dehumidifier:but with a butter knife

shaun bateman :lol, yyes

shaun bateman :it’s as though

shaun bateman :all the boring echo filters in the world

shaun bateman : converged into one protools setting

Jill dehumidifier: it’s the “guyliner” knob

shaun bateman :phallic pun intended?

Jill dehumidifier:no, and also, yes.

Jill dehumidifier: that was totally freudian

Jill dehumidifier:OH MY GOD IS THIS SONG OVER YET

 

Not til you get to that epic-as-shit (or is it shitty epic…yeah, shitty epic) ending, where Leto goes for it. “It” isn’t defined yet, but it isn’t good.

6 Comments



19
April
2007
tags: get a job, Puffy.

Put the “douchebag” back in “Diddy”

So, you’re about to graduate from your really really ’spensive college here in a couple weeks, with your B.A. in somecrap.

And you’re sitting, thinking “oh. my. god. I’ve. never. had. to. have. a. job.”

Not to worry, oh ye of little real life non-dorm experience, we at Resonator Mag are here to help.

Sean Puffy P-Diddy Diddy Combs is hiring.

Prominent busy Chairman of an entertainment giant is seeking a top-notch experienced polished Personal Assistant to coordinate the Chairman’s business, social and personal affairs. This role involves handling business and personal tasks at the Chairman’s office and multiple homes (NY, FL & GA). Serve as a personal liaison between the Chairman and his family. It is imperative that the Assistant has the sophistication to communicate effectively with people at all levels of management and handle highly confidential matters. Due to the Chairman’s extremely busy schedule, the Assistant needs to be accessible on weekends and evenings to handle ongoing activities…

My favorite bit is the “liaison between the Chairman and his family” specification. I assume this means you have to schedule when Diddy gets did.

For the entire help wanted ad, and for instructions on how to apply, check the full listing.

0 Comments