I don’t think there’s a living, breathing, functioning human being that isn’t aware of the genius that is Tim “Timbaland” Mosely. As a studio wizard and producer, I don’t even feel it’s necessary to list off the genius works he’s been attached to-hell, dude probably produced some phat-as-hell Jelly Roll Morton remixes. Last year’s obnoxiously awesome collaborative album with Justin Timberlake certainly didn’t lower his profile, bla bla bla yadda yadda TIMBALAND SOLO ALBUM FOR 07:

When I first heard about Timbaland Presents: Shock Value, my desire to hop around in rapturous joy like a Caucasian state-school undergrad who’d just heard “Crazy” on the radio for the first time was tempered, for a few reasons. The first is the most obvious-as the only music critic who really matters, Simon Reynolds, said recently-isn’t giving Timbaland a world of praise and appreciation for his production work a bit, oh, ten years ago?

And he’s right-it is. Is there anyone out there who is or will/would be listening that doesn’t yet know the whole “x pop/rap/whatever artist PRODUCTION BY TIMBALAND=SUDDEN GENIUS” drill?

Also…there’s two fears that circulate around the idea of Timbaland releasing an album based around himself. One is from the beatcrafting/production side, and one is from the vocals/rapping side. In regards to the latter, there’s this…fear. This irrational fear that Tim will blow his forward-thinking radio-ready funkrave load on 13 cohesive tracks and then have nothing to save us in the sure-to-be doldrums of 2007 winter radio.

What if his genius, like fossil fuel, water, and Britney Spears’ shed hotness, is a dwindling resource, and we’re forced to look on it with a sense of nostalgia, as we listen to Miss E-So Addictive for the eight hundred thousandth time and sigh “gah…remember when?”

In regards to the vocals on “Shock Value”, I can’t deny my one big fear was an hour of Timbaland rapping. His albums with Magoo are legendary for the suckitude, and there’s not a person living who wouldn’t have rather had him STFU and let J-Tim get on with the business of bringing SexyBack.

From what I’ve heard thus far, though, there’s no reason to fear:

Timbaland: Bounce

This is one fucking HELL of a rave-up. Timbaland’s bringing the days of dangerous electronic music back. With Dr. Dre, Missy Elliot and Justin Timberlake all as hands on deck, it’s quite possible this might be Shock Value’s crowning achievement. As Justin commands all in audience to bounce “like yo’ ass got the hiccups/like you was ridin’ in my pickup”, Dre talks about liking girls who are “Chinese like some young ho”, and, whoa, what’s that, Missy busting through the door screaming “hold up/hell naw/like Britney Spears I ain’t got no drawers”?

Fuck. Yes. It. Is. This shit would even make Granny horny.

This is what Timbaland does best-so damn offensive, so damn dark, so damn dirty-possibly his best contender for a single *ever*-specifically because it does the “this shouldn’t work on pop radio, but oh my fuck it DOES” thing so well.

Omarion: Ice Box

I don’t want to expend all of the surprises of Shock Value just yet (at least not until I finish the album, which seems to be falling apart at the end…), so this is another one of Timbaland’s 2006 masterworks that may have snuck by you. Turning Omarion from just another wanna-be R Kel into a fractured, emotive skitter-step crooner is just further proof of his genius, but that about-to-blow hoover snaking out at the end sounds a tad bit too much like an idea we’ve heard from him one too many times before…

Timbaland’s a fucking genius, there’s no doubt about that.He’s managed to ensconce himself in so many myriad genres, styles and scenes that it’s damn near impossible to imagine music as it is now existing without him. However, he’s beefing with Kanye. He’s beefing with Scott Storch. He’s probably beefing with the Burger King King. Has he just gotten too big for his britches (or too big for his bitches)? This, it seems, is the year Timbaland either puts up or steps down.

I’m anxious to watch this play out.

Pre-order Shock Value at Amazon, since the indie record stores apparently don’t realize Timbaland’s produced all those hot jams they try to pick up chicks to.

Bonus beat:

The “Ice Box” video…too good for words. “Got an ice box where my heart used to be”? As those poets Pusha and Malice once said-yeah, me too.